It takes effort to protect, nurture, and grow a marriage. Between work schedules, children, and other obligations, sometimes it can seem impossible to maintain that partnership. When problems arise, some couples find that it’s healthier to separate and go their separate ways.
For others, it’s a better choice to work on the relationship. If you want to stay with your partner and avoid divorce, there are proactive measures you can take. From improving communication to infusing more romance in day-to-day life, here are ways to improve your partnership.
Commit to Your Relationship
Toying with the idea that you might be better off outside of your marriage can put a major strain on your relationship—even if you never voice those thoughts. In fact, the thought alone might cause a major break in your motivation to try to improve your marriage.
To combat the risk to your relationship, decide way ahead in time that divorce is not an option. Making the commitment will help you focus on making your partnership stronger rather than thinking about what life might be like outside your marriage.
Honor and Respect Your Partner
People inevitably change over time. Understanding, appreciating, and adapting to those changes is critical for any relationship. Start by making a list of your partner’s best qualities to remind yourself of the wonderful person you married. This exercise will help you remember why you fell in love with them in the first place.
It also helps to vocalize how much you appreciate your partner’s quirks and eccentricities.
Let your partner know every day—through compliments or thank-yous—that you appreciate all that they do.
Communicate Regularly
In the age of smartphones, Netflix, and work-from-home lifestyles, it’s easy to get distracted. You might find that you often go days without having a real conversation with your spouse.
It’s also crucial that you also listen to your partner voice their thoughts. It can be helpful to set aside 30 minutes each day—free from interruptions or distractions—where you can talk.
Share Financial Expectations
Many marriages are fraught with disagreements. Couples often bring different expectations about money to a relationship. Each partner can find it difficult to see the financial situation from the other person’s perspective.
Coming to an agreement about how your money will be handled is a critical component of a successful marriage. Agree on a budget, an approach to debt, and make a plan to live within your limits.
Give Each Other Space
One of the hardest things to balance in a marriage is the right amount of time to spend together. Too much can feel like smothering while too little can be interpreted as inattentive.
When your partner needs space or a night out with friends, offer to watch the kids or run the errands to ensure they can get that time. On the other hand, you also want to make time to spend with your partner. If babysitting issues or financial constraints make that difficult, plan a fun, cost-effective dinner date at home.
The key is that you both make a concerted effort to spend quality time together while also allowing each other the space to have an outside community.
Have Date Nights
Another way to keep the flame burning in a marriage is to continue courting your spouse. Try to make time for a date night every week—even if it’s just to get ice cream or cook a new recipe together. If money is a concern, consider trading babysitting with another couple looking to have a date night. You can also just put the baby in a stroller and take a walk around the mall or go to the park.
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Continue doing the things you did when you were dating. Many couples report that small, thoughtful gestures help them feel like they are newly married. Try leaving your partner little love notes where they will find them, make them coffee in the morning, or buy their favorite snack at the grocery store.
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