Things started to kind of settle down.Yes, just kind of.While this was the time that things started to seem a little easier, there was something that was bothering me.Our home was full of pink stuff and we did not miss any chance of buying something new for the baby.Yes, we are mad like that. I felt different, somewhere at the back of my mind I was depressed.
In the middle of all this, I felt odd.Something just not explainable.I thought it’s just exhaustion.I get better with time.I didn’t.Meanwhile, still, some people were telling me how to hold my baby and how to feed her and not.I just felt like telling them I handled her when she was just a day old I can, of course, take care of her now so u better shut up woman.Though I dint.
At one moment I felt happy, excited seeing the baby bug respond to us.The next moment I was almost on the verge of crying.I was stuck within myself.It was hard explaining it to somebody else when I myself did not know whats wrong.I just kept skipping these thoughts.Also, I developed a behavior where every discussion with Rahul would turn into a fight.I started gaining weight.I lacked confidence.I wanted to stay home and not go out.I did not want to dress up and stay on pj’s all day.Best of my friends left me because I could no longer party with them. I tried talking to people around me.I was told you are going through a phase, it happens. Stop over thinking. Count your blessings you have a loving husband and now a baby too.You don’t have any reason to get depressed.If they only knew there is no reason required.Anybody can go through this.
Things started getting worse when suddenly while just sitting and watching tv Rahul used to ask me what happened u seem low and I used to burst out crying.I have always loved a clean house.Keeping everything in check and clean was something that gave me peace until I realized it was not normal. After a lot of effort, I went to a doctor and I was diagnosed with DEPRESSION and an OCD.Yes.
I felt half better after talking to the doctor because he understood and didn’t tell me that it’s just a phase or something.though in a lot better now.Id like u all to know that this can happen to anybody .Dont feel shy to talk about it.Cry it out but talk.It helps.if ur friend, sister, mom, dad anybody around u seem to behave differently, ask.If they say they’re ok.Ask again.I’d never really want anybody to go through what I’ve gone through.
I hope you could relate to my blog and if you could, do let me know in the comments below.