LIFESTYLE

Losing myself part – 4

It wasn’t very late that I realized I shouldn’t have stopped taking medicines mid way. My doctor always told me even if you start feeling better after sometime, never stop your medicines midway and guess what, I did exactly that. Earlier I felt I was Losing myself, now I definitely knew I’ve lost myself. I knew I had to get back to taking medication on time else nobody would be able to help me out.

Losing myself

I started again and then just like before I felt better. The circle of taking medicines and then stopping them midway went on for quite sometime. In the middle of all this I also had my little one to take care of. On some days I felt like a boss on other days I felt SUICIDAL. Yes , you read that right. Now when I think about it, I’m amazed thinking about how did I deal with all this and why? I really dint have to.

There were certain days when I wanted to end my life because it was too much for me to handle. And on other days I made myself understand that it’s just a phase and it will be ok. Depression , anxiety, circle of friends, my child, distant relatives who made sure to finish my peace of mind. I lost myself. From a person who lived to talk I became a person who preferred keeping quite. People thought I was snooty. And the rest thought how much of a big issue I’m creating by acting this way. Yes, I was apparently acting !!

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Somewhere between all this I knew , I can get better only if I want to. I started healing myself coz nobody else could.


Part 5 to be continued

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