Nothing seemed to help. My husband pushed me a lot in hope that I start my medication. I finally did. Just a few weeks into it, I started feeling better. No more sadness , no more mood swings. The feeling of losing myself went away. I started smiling and felt as if there was never any trouble and life was always this merry. I suddenly realized how serene being and feeling normal felt. I can say I wasn’t losing myself in that moment. I was getting

How much I needed the medication and how much I needed to cure myself. Just when life got a tad bit back on track, I again turned my back towards medicines. Taking 15-16 pills a day was no joke. When I started it, I hated it then and I hated it later. Slowly as I felt I was healing I started believing it was all my will power that I was feeling okay.

Few days off medicines felt great but then again I started feeling weird, cranky and even suicidal. Yes, you read that right, I just felt tired of the circle I was being pulled into and wanted this to get over. I wasn’t able to take such high and low fluctuations of my mood swings in real life. It was affecting everything around me. My family, my friends, my work everything. I had reached my saturation point mentally and there was no looking beyond it.
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Talk about being the master of making bad decisions. Part 4 to be continued…

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