I belong to a sikh family from my parent’s side and got married into a hindu Punjabi family. There has never been a custom of fasting for one’s husband on my parents side, more commonly known as karwa chauth here. But after I got married, I had no problem in paying respect to my husband’s family customs and traditions. I kept the fast for the first 2 years of my marriage starving myself unwillingly. Yes, I’m being honest. Tradition is good if not followed blindly,
The third year, just a few days before karwa chauth, I was diagnosed with gastroenteritis. So had strict instructions from my doctor to not stay empty stomach for more than 2 hours. I had to skip the fast. After this incident my husband was sweet enough to still get me a gift for karwa chauth without me fasting for it. I told Rahul, “you dint have to get me such an expensive present, I didn’t even fast”. He said, ” I don’t give you presents because you fast, it’s just another reason for me to buy you gifts”. And post this we mutually decided that I wont fast from now on considering health is more important than anything. Like “jaan hai toh jahaan hai” thing.
India is a country where people blindly follow stuff. I do not mean to disrespect anybody but yes its a fact. Girls follow their mothers or mother in laws tradition without even knowing the actual reason behind it. It’s because they have grown seeing their parents do this, so they follow the same. There have been myths created with so many stories to follow and also dreadful consequences if you don’t do the same. I have always failed to understand that what does a wife’s fasting for a whole day from sunrise to moonrise have to do with their respective husbands life expectancy? like seriously! As a matter of fact, life expectancy of men in other country’s is much more than taht of men in India.
I again don’t mean to offend anybody. But your husband was living life perfectly before marrying you and would have been doing the same even if he didn’t marry you. Now a days you see couples fasting together maybe to reduce the guilt that some men carry that their wives have to fast alone. Life expectancy is more in a lot other foreign countries than in India. They are not even religious countries.They don’t have women fasting for their husbands. They just have women more educated and advanced. A marriage works when you have respect for each other and a heart full of love, not when a voice in your head is shouting “have some food right now or you might pass out”.
It’s high time we all should understand that these things are actually just another reason to oppress women maybe. I don’t know. Not too sure. But maybe. Still, unfortunately we still have a long way to go. I respect those who do it willingly and also who would do the same out of pressure. I just got lucky, hope you get lucky too sometime soon.
Well, I know this might not go well with a lot of people but India is a free country and as a part of the same I have complete right to state what I feel about something or someone.
Having said that , do leave me a comment if you agree with me on the same.