The beginning of this month embarked a new journey for my little girl — her very first day of school and a hurricane of emotions ran high; a whole lot more for me, than her.
On that anxious day, as I wistfully prepared her bag, ironed and laid down her school clothes and packed her lunch, I couldn’t help but wonder how swiftly the years had passed by. Wrapped in a cloud of nostalgia, I was reminded of that moment when I first held her in my arms, the memory so vivid that it could have been yesterday. I also reminisced the time when it frightened her if was I was not around for a mere few seconds and now here she was to join the bandwagon all alone without knowing a single person around. The years had indeed gone too soon.
Her little hand in mine, we had set off to school excited and apprehensive at the same time. All of a sudden in a choking moment I wished I could travel back in time. Back to that time when I held my child in my hands for the first time. Snapping back to reality, we walked towards the school and I accompanied her to his class filled with tiny tables and chairs in bright colors. In spite of all the toys and colorful things around, her lips were tight, shoulders stiff and her little eyes bore of all the anxiety she felt. Watching her made my heart torn between wanting to take her back home and wanting her to face this new beginning, and a whole lot of life enriching experiences that I alone cannot provide no matter how much I try.
Teary eyed, I kissed her goodbye and promised her that I’ll be back soon and forced myself out of the class gate. I was supposed to wait for an hour downstairs, at the reception.The moment I reached downstairs, I missed her terribly. It was like I didn’t know what to do with my time anymore. I tried doing some thing with my phone and it felt so strange. I took a few deep breaths and calmed myself. After all, the people with whom I’ve entrusted my child are responsible and qualified people and soon my little girl might love her school so much that she wouldn’t even want to miss a single day. I also realized that this anxious new beginning shall be routine in no time and both of us shall begin to enjoy this new phase in our lives. Besides, I’m not the first or only mother to go through these sentiments and I’m sure during this time of the year; many heart strings have been pulled both of mothers and children on their first day at school.
So as of now, I tell myself that change is the only constant and these emotions are nothing but a passing storm. And I hope and pray that this new beginning fetches beautiful memories, just like the bygone years.