I am not what i seem to be


Not everything in life comes with a prior notice.Depression is one of those things.Generally people don’t even realise they are going through this.They often address it as just stress or mood swings or most of the times work pressure.It walks slowly in your life and before even you realise it,it gets too late.Depression doesn’t come alone.It tags along anxiety ,stress, uneasy thoughts, eating disorder, loneliness, despair and probably every miserable thing you can imagine.

The only good thing here was the fact that i did not give up,to be happy and trust me life seems to be much better now a days.Hopelessness is a major part of depression which actually avoids you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.But light is always there.Something in  me tried to make me understand that I cant feel happy all the time.Even people who do not suffer from this have general bad days.It is very much normal to not feel ok at times.

People who have not suffered from this have a really hard time understanding it.Though when you suffer from something like this you expect people to understand,which is not possible.Its just like I can’t feel what somebody who has lost their child feels like.All i can do i offer compassion and this is the only thing i should expect from others.I realised i was my worse enemy always attacking myself for my imperfections.

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It was when I opened up about it to other people and was amazed that almost every second person suffered from this.In todays world your image is everything.It is really shocking to realise that mostly people who put up a happy face are the ones going through the most beneath them.It was the best decision i made ,for it also got me my best friends that i actually never had.During this time the worse thing was i could only come across pictures of people perfectly happy in their lives,partyin.I wanted to live their life and all thanks to social media,it broke my heart even more.

I saw a lot of therapists and practitioners.Some worked some did not.But I learned to love myself a little more after everywhere i went.I learned that everybody’s journey was different even though they went through the same thing.Medication works for some,while therapy works for others.The change began when i realised i was the only one who could help myself the most.Ofcourse family,friends helped.The times i bashed out at my friends for reasons they did not know,neither did i.For times they let me cry without asking why i was doing so.For the times they just called to check if i was ok.

I love you guys,you helped me and are still helping me to get better everyday.


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